Very nice ideas, and great leads on this one man. Melodically speaking, I think you really have some thing here man; the bass isn't terrific, I would definitely watch the levels on that. maybe bring it back a bit and bring a couple more layers into the mix for a fuller sound, while keeping your clarity. The Mixdown leaves a lot to be desired, but I still really enjoyed this one Jake ;]
Sorry if I sound harsh mate, but I guess I have a bit higher standards than I used to; you know I got mad love for ya brothah, and I'm only trying to help.
If you ever want some help with mixing/ mastering/ layering, gimme a holler ;]
Keep at it jake, you got some real potential my man :D
~Sonik